


your arms around my lungs

by HogwartsToAlexandria



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Arguing, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Good Severus Snape, M/M, Married Couple, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-First War with Voldemort, Post-War, Severus Snape Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black Never Went to Azkaban, TasteofSmut 2020, Touch, Trauma, Voldemort (Harry Potter) Dies, hearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/pseuds/HogwartsToAlexandria
Summary: Even when they hate each other, even when they argue more than they talk, the sound of Sirius' regular breathing still brings Severus solace when the nightmares don't want to go away.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102
Collections: Taste of Smut Fest





	your arms around my lungs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> My third fill for Taste of Smut and this time for prompt 97! I hope you like it, I couldn't help myself with this one I had such a vision of these two for it, it was a delight to write so thank you for submitting it dear 💕
> 
> Thank you to our great great mods EvA, Noella, Kay and Rae 💚💚💚 and to my superb Betheflame for betaing once again 😊

"You're such a bloody grouch, I swear," Sirius snapped, slapping the covers over himself and quickly turning his back on his husband. He couldn't even look at him, he needed a breather yet needed to sleep, so this was as good as it got. 

"I shall sleep downstairs." Severus said, the venom of his voice enough to make Sirius turn around and sit-up again. 

"Over my dead body," he ground out, "You're going to lie down in here and sleep because this is our bed, even when you're the worst possible version of yourself you can be." 

"And I am to trust your vision of what that may be, I presume?" Severus asked, but really, he wasn't asking. He was raising his eyebrow in that way that he did, his back and motions stiff as a board as he pushed the sheets and got underneath them, then did just as Sirius had, not waiting for an answer before he turned around and turned off both of their lumos’.

Fighting with Severus Snape had always been the most frustrating, nerve-wracking situation Sirius could find himself in. Yet he found himself in said situation a little too often to not hear his friends' innuendos that he might actually be seeking it out all those years ago, when it first started. But married as they were now, with the long road they'd traveled together, going to bed angry just meant Sirius couldn't sleep, and Severus generally didn't either, even if now he at least forced himself to come to bed when he used to just roam the house, restless. 

It did grant them some particularly hot angry sex now and then, but this wasn't one of those nights.

In retrospect, Sirius should probably have known something was up even before Severus somehow managed to fall asleep this time around. He would have too, if he hadn't been so blinded by the rage seeing his husband not-so kindly show their friends out after dinner had thrown him in. They bickered and they argued and they were at each other's throat a lot more regularly than other couples, Sirius didn't doubt that part, but over the years, their arguments had shifted into something he could generally read behind, with some time put into it at least. And Severus had stopped lashing out at people he cared about that weren't him a long while ago too, so tonight didn't match up. 

And now he was sleeping. 

And that didn't make sense either. 

Sirius couldn't sleep though. He tossed around, rolled to one side, then the other, facing Severus' back, frowning in the dark. His anger had receded, leaving him with only frustration and confusion on his hands as he stared on and wanted nothing more than to thread his fingers in Severus' long hair and brush them down the man's back. Asking his body what was up with him had yielded better results than direct questioning in the past after all. 

He kept his hands to himself though, Severus sleeping was a rarity that deserved any kind of peace he'd managed to find be preserved till it invariably ran its course. 

Sirius considered getting back up, or accio-ing a book or other, but the minutest movement could wake up the other man so again, he refrained from doing so and just sighed, his head filled with unanswered questions. 

The darkness surrounding him, Sirius tried his best to stay in the present and not let any of his troubled memories, the stealthy ones that liked to sneak in well into the night, slither into his mind. Instead, he focused on Severus, as he always did when he needed an anchor. He replayed the memories of the past week and the way he'd been blown away and always seemed to be, by the little things of life - like how bloody sexy this man could look with glasses on and shoes off, lounging on the sofa with an issue of Potions Weekly in his lap and a cup of tea floating at the tip of his fingers, or how incongruous it would always be to see him walk out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around him and his hair dripping wet on his shoulders. 

The first time it happened, Sirius didn't really stop to wonder what the noise was, just kept on reminiscing the way Severus had looked ironing his teaching robes with careful flicks of his wand two days prior. But the second time was more pronounced, not louder, but more drawn out and plaintive and that's when Sirius realized Severus was shifting in his sleep. Again, Sirius felt the immediate need to reach for him but he held back another moment, trying to see if the man would calm down on his own. 

He didn't at all, in fact, the slight huffs of breath that left him became closer together the longer Sirius waited and they slowly formed into unmistakable moans of pain. Casting a quick, but necessary - he'd learned his lesson the last time he flew across the room protego, Sirius scooted closer. He put a hand on Severus' shoulder, squeezed gently, then pulled at his husband so the man would be laying on his back. 

Waking him up was never the hardest part. Severus' eyes flew open and only started to focus and relax again when Sirius moved his hand to the side of his face and forced eye contact. The look in his eyes never failed to break Sirius' heart. He was so lost, and shattered, and so far. Sirius knew where he went on those nights, of course he did, and Merlin did he wish he could sense it coming more expressly than he usually managed - he got it now, the attitude of the day, if that was where Severus had been in his head, he'd actually behaved a lot better than he probably gave himself credit for - strike that, the word was certainly gave himself credit for.

"I'm here," Sirius said, as neutrally as he could, carefully extracting Severus' hand from under the covers and placing it in his own neck, just above his tattoo. "I'm here, and you're here, and you're going to be okay," Sirius continued. 

Sirius searched his husband's eyes for a trace that he could even hear him. His skin was so pallid, the wrinkles around his eyes and over his forehead so deep and exhausted, Sirius couldn't help but gently run his hand down his neck to wind his arm around him. As carefully as he could, Sirius rearranged them so Severus was leaning on his chest and they were half-sitting up, the limp way Severus let him set his head on his shoulder another way Sirius' soul vibrated with the need to make it all go away. 

"Pace your breath with mine if you can, like we do, come on," Sirius whispered against Severus' temple, taking intentionally deep and drawn out breaths, inhaling long and exhaling just as quietly. 

Thus the only sounds in their bedroom for the next minutes, or hour, perhaps, were that of Sirius guiding Severus through breathing normally again. A quick but dim lumos was cast at some point, and Sirius shifted a few times, but overall, they mostly stayed as still as Sirius could make it while he hugged his husband's body as closely as he could without suffocating him. 

"Cruciatus," Severus whispered what seemed like forever after he'd woken up. His voice was rough, a shadow of its natural strength, wretched by the phantom pain he'd seen and felt in dreams. Sirius once again felt himself tremble with the rage and the heartache the memories of Severus' spying days brought him. He kept his mouth shut though, only hummed, and pressed a feather-light kiss to the man's temple, holding his gaze when Severus tilted his head up to search his eyes. "Thank you," his lips barely moved as he said the words and Sirius crushed the urge to huff dismissively - Severus would never accept freely given help, for as long as they both shall live, despite what their vows said. 

"I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner," Sirius answered instead. 

Severus frowned almost imperceptibly, same as he did every time someone expressed remorse where he was concerned. "I was an arse," he said, like that explained away the further hurt Sirius had likely caused with his words and anger. 

Sirius smiled at him and rather than argue, he winked and said, "I knew you were when I married you." 

Sirius was gratified with Severus huffing a laugh, and then they both sagged, gently drifting together into another lull without words, hopefully without ghosts. He got to thread his fingers in Severus' hair the way he'd wanted to do earlier, the man not drawing an inch away at any point, and together, a moment or so from each other, they fell asleep, finally able to rest as they listened to each other, existing in the space of their embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> 💋 This work is part of the Taste of Smut Fest, a Harry Potter-centered fest dedicated to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. 
> 
> If you’ve enjoyed this work, please do shower our content creators with kudos and comments! 💌
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